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MCIP for Boston University - Shared screen with speaker view
amsidman
02:10
Hi Everyone! Ann Marie
Anita
02:40
Hi! Anita
Richard Hoang
03:05
Hi -
Richard Hoang
04:34
Hello to everyone on zoom! If you want to talk with each other you have two options: one to one in private chat, and with 'everyone.'
Richard Hoang
05:38
Correction: ONLY one to one private chat is the ONLY chat that will not appear on the screen.
Lauren Himml
06:05
Hi it's Lauren... just found chat
Kathy Obear
10:59
what do you think of the quotes?
Kathy Obear
11:44
I get them conceptually, but still judge myself if I am not on the front lines of change work….up to date on national issues…reading books to stay current….
Anita
11:53
A good reminder that we do need to take care of ourselves and that it is valid and necessary to do so
Kathy Obear
12:19
I actually may do more harm if i am so stressed, triggered and still reacting…..
Anita
13:18
There is so much to do that it does seem overwhelming and it can feel like we should constantly be doing more. But as you said more is not necessarily good if one is stressed and triggered
farrahab
15:41
self-preservation versus self-indulgence really resonates with me but I'm not sure I would go so far as to equate it to political warfare, per se. More a matter of making sure I'm in a positive headspace and telling myself if it's OK that some things won't happen "right now" and tomorrow's another day
amsidman
23:34
At one point, I asked a Senior Leader about burn out and the answer was to teach resilience . . .
Lauren Himml
24:25
China
Lauren Himml
24:32
Japan?
Lauren Himml
25:10
are driven by "adopted" white supremacist values
Lauren Himml
26:29
maybe we need to think in terms of "powerful people" or "power-driven" culture
Lauren Himml
26:58
which in this (and some other) places is white
amsidman
40:40
10
Lauren Himml
40:43
2/
Anita
40:47
8
farrahab
40:47
8
Lauren Himml
45:50
I'm afraid I'm an outlier because I don't have marginalized identities I relate strongly to, and I'm not involved (yet?) as a social justice change agent - put another way, I'm probably taking it too easy...
farrahab
01:02:31
It's psychological safety... knowing you don't have to deal with the mental stress of being the "other"
farrahab
01:02:36
Re: Yvette
Kathy Obear
01:08:14
in the chat, you may be a mixed race group…and I encourage you to share with each other
Kathy Obear
01:08:58
As a white person I am in dire need of self care….I am a 10….AND, I know I have far less stress, conflict, barrage of racism coming at me, so i can only imagine the depth of need for community care for folx of color
Lauren Himml
01:09:44
20 years ago I could have really identified with the need for self care, but it would not have had anything to do with race, but rather life-stage... I'm not even sure that the "self-care" needed was even remotely the same as for someone who experiences aggression ("micro" or otherwise) or "otherness" on a daily basis
Anita
01:11:04
I currently am in need of more self care than usual although not closely connected to race. I have had multiple personal challenges in the last two months. But I have taken on this new role at the university related to D&I and I feel tremendous pressure to do a good job. I feel pressure as a woman to be forceful in what can be a male dominated culture and to do a good job at D&I even though I am white
Kathy Obear
01:11:39
I am finding it challenging o juggle all the work I do, my requests from my wife for more relationship time….and the national context is so draining for me…. I never feel like I am doing enough….
Kathy Obear
01:12:08
Anita, I relate to the extra energy and stress/tension of working in a mre hyper masculine culture as one of the few women at times
Kathy Obear
01:13:59
I feel guilty if I take a night off….if I am not on Facebook posting informative posts about social justice… I have so much white privilege (other other privileges), I feel I should always be doing more….
Anita
01:14:11
I am single but have three kids (two in college and one at home 50% of the time) and understand, Kathy, the challenge of balancing work/personal
Lauren Himml
01:18:17
I think the stress and "frazzle" of otherness (whether race, gender, etc.) is different from the work/life balance - or work/family, or family/self.
Kathy Obear
01:19:02
on reflection (never thought about self care as a white before…) I have such access to $ resources given white and class privilege, that I can easily afford someone to clean our house 2X’s month…and a massage or 2 each month…. and a treadmill in our house so I can easily exercise and release stress most mornings…. and buy organic vegan-fish foods which contribute to my self-care…..and visit accupuncture, chiropractor and other doctors as needed….
Kathy Obear
01:19:47
Lauren, I agree that I have far less stress form others/marginalization as a white person… the culture and systems are set up by whites for people like me….
Lauren Himml
01:19:59
It helped me to marry someone who has is extremely generous but has very clear (line in the sand) boundaries, and this paradigm has helped me learn to reframe the expectations I'm willing to assume, but that said, maybe I'm taking it too easy (as I recognized earlier)
Kathy Obear
01:20:25
AND, we also have lots of stress and need for self-care - I hear some whites say they don’t deserve it, because they are white…there has to be a middle way - cause when white change agents burnout, we may drop out….
Kathy Obear
01:20:46
Lauren, I appreciate your wondering…
Lauren Himml
01:21:53
Ah... white privilege guilt, especially in this toxic cultural environment. Now THAT is something I can relate to! Definitely wears down your soul.
Anita
01:22:02
I have thought about my priveldge in being able to releive my stress. The very things that you mention.
amsidman
01:29:24
I feel that - being an advocate for anyone is difficult in a toxic environment where change is slow
Anita
01:33:23
So maybe part of self care is celebrating small victories when they happen even though there is still so much more to do.
Kathy Obear
01:34:00
thanks for the reminder about small victories….small steps of progress in my own capacity and learning….
Anita
01:35:51
Kathy, I find the way that you frame things very interesting and illuminating.
amsidman
01:36:55
small wins!
Kathy Obear
01:37:25
I am delighted! AND i am learning each and every day how to doing things more effectively, productively…. I thought at 62 I might have “made it” as a leader….each day I am more aware of what I don’t know yet….