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Speak Your Mind: Wellbeing Conversations in the Workplace - Shared screen with speaker view
Frances White
33:48
okay!
Maxine Campbell
34:03
done
Jo Cook
35:55
Thanks everyone for coming!
Jo Cook
36:19
Remember to change your "To" setting in chat to "All panelists and attendees" for everyone to read your chat comments!
Catherine Pugh
36:32
Hi Jo - great to join you, Sara and the team again!
Jo Cook
36:42
Hi Catherine!
Jo Cook
37:11
We use the term "mental health" - what comes to mind?
Frances White
37:51
I have been a professional psychology-based executive leadership coach for 25 years, I have a mAsters in Exec Coaching, I teach conversational leadership and I am a qualified accredited Systemic Team Coach. Mental wellbeing is now one of the most important and commonly occurring issue for many of my clients, often because it triggers conflict as people are less able to regulate their feelings and less able to sustain collaborative relationships
Eleanor Bruce
37:57
'crazy' and 'to be avoided' :(
Maxine Campbell
38:17
i have learned that it should be used in the same way as physical health
Jo Hooper
38:28
I think in the workplace, the stigma around mental health is that it's linked to your performance and makes you a less competent professional
Frances White
38:41
Mental health for many is more subtle than these headlines … “if I can’t cope then I must be failing”
Sarah Barnett
39:06
the title mental health is negatively associated to illness and negative behaviour
Jo Cook
39:12
@Eleanor Terrible
Catherine Pugh
39:13
Often taken less seriously than physical health/illness
Jo Cook
39:20
@Maxine Yes, it should be as important
Eleanor Bruce
39:28
It's also all consuming - once you're known to have mental illness, that's all you are
Sarah Barnett
39:38
mental wellbing is something that can be associated with everyone (there is a scale for mental wellbeing)
Maxine Campbell
39:45
i spoke to an older colleague who said he was confused by all this "mental health stuff". I reminded him that in the old days people coped by drinking too much so it's probably better to talk rather than drink!
Jo Cook
40:17
@Eleanor, Yes, it can be just the one thing that defines you
Jo Cook
40:29
@Sarah Good point about the scale
Frances White
40:53
The whole “positive thinking” and “have more goals!” obsession is driving a lot of people failing to achieve their overwhelming number of idealisations … would be a good start to stop with the “positive thinking” is all you need to do so if you’re not “positive” then you must be failing!
Jo Cook
41:29
@Maxine Yes, very good point. I see so many older people with issues and I think the lack of support and help made people the way they are :(
Jo Hooper
41:49
I find the zeitgeisty language at the moment around 'hustle,' 'strive' 'push' 'lean in' is very triggering - you don't need to push all the time to be successful/happy/competent
Frances White
42:01
I agree Jo Hooper
Jo Cook
42:24
@Jo Good point. There's something I've been hearing recently about not saying "busy" all the time when people ask us!
Frances White
42:41
We have created a whole common language for definitions that actually used to have much more precise meanings … a new language would be really helpful
Jo Hooper
42:50
Yes - being busy all the time isn't actually healthy for some!
Sarah Barnett
43:11
there is a bit more needed aout the understanding of MH too to change the vocab
Frances White
43:13
“Depression” for example means lots of different things to different people but of course is a word, not the actual experience
Frances White
44:40
Exercise, fitness, diet are all relevant to mental health and wellbeing
Jo Cook
44:51
Yes Frances, they make such a difference
Mark Gandy
44:54
we need to be sensitive to the fact that it isn't always so dramatic. missing the nativity play because of workinh late is also an example
Jo Cook
45:17
Mark - what do you mean, about missing the nativity?
Frances White
45:23
The triggering of the amygdala, the constant heightened levels of adrenalin, cortisol and testosterone all trigger a “feeling” of anxiety - the neurochemistry is really helpful to understand
Jo Cook
45:41
****** PERFECT TIMING
Jo Cook
46:07
* Being aware
Jo Cook
46:24
* Being Human
Mark Gandy
46:31
a parent working late and missing something of personal significance and importance, eg their kids nativity play
Jo Hooper
47:11
The focus on being human really resonates with me - when I've spoken honestly to my team about my mental health struggles has allowed them to open up to me and has changed our team culture - we're all kinder to one another
Jo Cook
47:15
* Being Skilled
Frances White
47:20
How we show up in conversations, awareness of intention and being able to be more vulnerable/human etc is massively relevant to being able to generate more empathy in the conversation, because of mirror-neutrons … the impact os empathetic resonance in conversation is massively important
Jo Cook
47:22
@Mark Ah ok, thanks
Jo Cook
47:39
@Jo That is lovely. It's supportive and encouraging.
Jo Cook
48:00
I feel the same, about being human, vulnerable, authentic.
Jo Cook
48:24
"You cannot serve from an empty bowl"
Jo Cook
48:26
Love that
Frances White
48:49
Politicians are a good example of mimicking “service” from very empty bowls!
Frances White
49:49
Being human … being able to be empathetic without needing to fix things or rescue someone - very important!
Jo Cook
49:58
@Frances I laugh but.... you make a point
Mark Gandy
50:19
normalising is the best way to remove stigma
Maxine Campbell
50:27
i often tell friends that. i also remind them "you are told on a plane that in crisis you should put your own mask on before putting your child's on. basically meaning you can't take care of others unless you take care of yourself
Jo Cook
50:34
Mastering Conversation is the winning paper in Roffey Park’s Val Hammond Research Competition. Read it here: https://www.theconversationspace.com/our-thinking/mastering-conversation/
Jo Cook
50:50
************ ONE MIN BEHIND
Frances White
50:54
Sharing stories is a wonderful simple language - everything can start from this simple idea and practice
Jo Cook
51:08
Frances yes, it can make us comfortable with others
Frances White
51:23
I work with leadership teams where they start with this and develop a narrative skill that is massively creative, deeply resonant and very engaging
Jo Cook
51:36
What are your tips?
Frances White
51:44
Keep things simple
Frances White
51:56
Avoid the drama in your language
Frances White
52:42
the drama stimulates the amygdala, keeping things gentle, simple and just small steps to sharing stories … soothes the amygdala
Catherine Pugh
52:57
Tuning in and treating people as individuals
Eleanor Bruce
53:00
Speak up early - I've let thngs fester and ended up in meltdown, even though I knew it was coming.
Catherine Pugh
53:03
Not making assumptions
Frances White
53:18
Noticing is brilliant, it is non-judgemental
Frances White
53:41
Not interpreting what people are saying or trying to make “sense” of it by re-wording it - that helps
Jo Cook
54:25
Brene Brown https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
Frances White
54:27
Listening not approving or agreeing … staying non-parental
Diana Kalungi
55:15
As HR, i've started being more careful as to the words i use. Words we all grow up using from a young age. Sometimes you may need to just step back and look at how employees interact with each other so you can spot something that someone is too scared to mention.
Jo Cook
55:50
I have a chronic health issue, and a lot of the discussions on websites/Facebook is about asking people not to advise us, they aren't experts on our problems and we've probably tried those things, and our issues are highly personal. Perhaps that can apply to mental health too.
Jo Hooper
56:13
I like these phrases in the support phase, but as someone who's really struggled with their mental health, I would say when someone is in a bad place mentally they may not know what help they need/want
Frances White
56:13
@Diana great to hear about paying attention to language - the whole experience is coded in the language
Jo Hooper
56:22
so it's good to have some suggestions in your back pocket
Maxine Campbell
57:15
i agree about the "time off" statement. many staff need work as their haven from what is going on
Jo Cook
57:28
@Jo Very good point. My father is in this state, and we have to make the decisions for him, in his best interest.
Frances White
58:22
Important to know that mental and emotional health balance may take time to re-balance and because it is so disorientating to feel that you don’t have control of how you feel, this in itself is distressing … so it is a very powerful downward spiral
Jo Cook
59:51
***** TIPS FROM PEOPLE IN CHAT FROM ME
Jo Cook
59:56
**** THEN WRAP UP
Eleanor Bruce
01:00:04
Really good point Frances. Many people also need to be reminded of how strong they are
Jo Cook
01:01:57
You can sign up for our newsletter https://www.theconversationspace.com/contact-us/
Frances White
01:02:01
Shifting things - so that instead of alarm bells ringing if you feel a bit out of control emotionally, you just recognise that this is something you cannot ignore, like having flu - you need to pay attention but no need for a drama
Jo Cook
01:02:03
Register for our next webinar on Career Conversations https://zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_xbIIEZiaSs-zDVVKag-Rig
Sarah Barnett
01:02:39
Thank you
Rebecca Taylor
01:02:44
Thank you
Jo Hooper
01:02:45
thank you - great webinar
Maxine Campbell
01:02:48
thanks very much
Mark Gandy
01:02:48
thank you
Eleanor Bruce
01:02:53
Thank you all